Koi

My mind is racing
With fear
With doubt
Yet I am going to take the challenge
To fall
And rise again.
“There is a certain elegance in those who fall with grace” she said to me
I don’t know if I believe her
I fall often –and I am awkward.
That to rise
Is everything but graceful
It’s a struggle, battle, war, tempest-
That’s why we love it
And think it beautiful
We can’t be happy without the fall.
We can’t be sad without the high.
Still my mind races
Impatience is blinding-
“Wait..” is the whisper of time
felt, unheard.
Energy escapes around me
Raping at their doors.
“Wait..” is her whisper
Clearer than before.
-Under water now
A fluid flow of passion
Prolonged memoir
Oblivion and infinity
At last the screen to hold me down
Slow into motion.
The shadow disappears
The water clears.
“Let go” –again
The lion leaps
The light is green
But my hands are clenching
So tight around the red
Drenched and bleeding
Beading heart
Refusing to be fed
“Let go” – she speaks
-I fall
Trip on the stairs